Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
