i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
