Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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