Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
