great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
