he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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