im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize