Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
