i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
What a dumb baby whore.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
