my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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