Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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