Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
