i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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