note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
40s are totally the cure
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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