Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
