I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm too high and old for this...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
