I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
