Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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