so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
