he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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