Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
