if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
