just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
