I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
