I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
