Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
