I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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