i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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