3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
