This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
