...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
