ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
