he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
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