this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
they're like a gay fantastic four
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
