Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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