I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
