Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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