I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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