Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
