The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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