Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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