One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
