So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
