Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
