How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize