why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
