Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
whose ass print is on the piano?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize