i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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