trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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