u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
