All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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