But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She bit a glass in half.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
