Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I need a hoe opinion
go on
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
