WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
