You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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