I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I understand Curling. That high.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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