Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
