just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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