Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize