I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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