oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
everyone is single if you try hard enough
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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