i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
