I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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