dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
