what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
handjob tips. give me some.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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