he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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