I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
