pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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